Tit for tat is well known phrase. That means taking action or revenge against someone intentionally who has mistreated us or done something unpleasant to us. I remember we would exactly follow this phrase in our childhood. When somebody would refuse to give me notes of lectures I also would deny to help him in need, if someone wouldn't call me for his birthday party I also would intentionally forget to call him for mine and we did so many things like that. But later I realised that, this is not the way in which civilised and advanced one thinks, there are many disadvantages of this psychology.
If you’re one of those who live by the motto “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”,then chances are that your life will be full of miseries,a new study has found. According to the study,published in the ‘Economic Journal’,people who apply a “tit-for-tat” attitude to life are more likely to be unemployed,have a smaller circle of friends and be less happy.
But that doesn't mean we should keep getting hurt by others for sake of keeping good relations and others should exploit us, we can reply them in sophisticated and better way. its such a childish mentality to do what he has done to me. He may be fool why we also want to become like him. Why do we want to become same, copying him? It's said the best revenge is not to be like your enemy. Here are some good options to react.
Think twice- responding immediately is not always a good idea. A sober person thinks twice and answers in most suitable way, he doesn't comes under the sway of his passion. When Bhima was young he was poisoned and thrown into Ganges, Yudhisthira could have declared the war immediately against the Kauravas but he took decision with cool head, he realised now we are not in power. He waited for suitable moment, he allied with the kings, took guidance from Krishna and then fought for rights which was perfect tit for tat.
Reflect- rather than thinking he was bad that's why he did bad to me, we can think in other way round. It's not that others are always bad and we are always good. Reflect on our intentions more than deeds.
Empathise- he may be acting under some conditioned nature or immaturity that we may not know. In this case person can be forgiven. Sugriva, when received his kingdom back he forgot his purpose of helping Ram and immersed in pleasures. Lakshmana was planning to teach him a good lesson but forgave him understanding that Sugriva has missed the kingly pleasures from so many years.
Accept- accepting unfavourable situations, conditions, neglect and taunts by others teach us many lessons which makes us experienced. Pandavas accepted 13 years of exile which helped them in so many ways, can't we accept some criticism, rebukes, taunts why always respond in aggressive way, let's learn something from circumstances. Such situations develops our fortitude.
Thanking- rather than always keeping a revengeful attitude and spoiling relationships with others for small small things we can accept the circumstances as discussed earlier and thank for it for our betterment. Queen Kunti never had revengeful attitude towards Dhritarashtra and Gandhari although they were parents of those who troubled her sons in so many ways and in fact we see that she asked krsna for such situations so that she can remember him(lord) again and again.
In conclusion if someone forgets to call you for party or mistreats you in any other way, you 'treat' them.
By Rupesh Gauranga Dasa
www.iskcondesiretree.com
If you’re one of those who live by the motto “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”,then chances are that your life will be full of miseries,a new study has found. According to the study,published in the ‘Economic Journal’,people who apply a “tit-for-tat” attitude to life are more likely to be unemployed,have a smaller circle of friends and be less happy.
But that doesn't mean we should keep getting hurt by others for sake of keeping good relations and others should exploit us, we can reply them in sophisticated and better way. its such a childish mentality to do what he has done to me. He may be fool why we also want to become like him. Why do we want to become same, copying him? It's said the best revenge is not to be like your enemy. Here are some good options to react.
Think twice- responding immediately is not always a good idea. A sober person thinks twice and answers in most suitable way, he doesn't comes under the sway of his passion. When Bhima was young he was poisoned and thrown into Ganges, Yudhisthira could have declared the war immediately against the Kauravas but he took decision with cool head, he realised now we are not in power. He waited for suitable moment, he allied with the kings, took guidance from Krishna and then fought for rights which was perfect tit for tat.
Reflect- rather than thinking he was bad that's why he did bad to me, we can think in other way round. It's not that others are always bad and we are always good. Reflect on our intentions more than deeds.
Empathise- he may be acting under some conditioned nature or immaturity that we may not know. In this case person can be forgiven. Sugriva, when received his kingdom back he forgot his purpose of helping Ram and immersed in pleasures. Lakshmana was planning to teach him a good lesson but forgave him understanding that Sugriva has missed the kingly pleasures from so many years.
Accept- accepting unfavourable situations, conditions, neglect and taunts by others teach us many lessons which makes us experienced. Pandavas accepted 13 years of exile which helped them in so many ways, can't we accept some criticism, rebukes, taunts why always respond in aggressive way, let's learn something from circumstances. Such situations develops our fortitude.
Thanking- rather than always keeping a revengeful attitude and spoiling relationships with others for small small things we can accept the circumstances as discussed earlier and thank for it for our betterment. Queen Kunti never had revengeful attitude towards Dhritarashtra and Gandhari although they were parents of those who troubled her sons in so many ways and in fact we see that she asked krsna for such situations so that she can remember him(lord) again and again.
In conclusion if someone forgets to call you for party or mistreats you in any other way, you 'treat' them.
By Rupesh Gauranga Dasa
www.iskcondesiretree.com
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